Turning Toward What Nurtures: An ACT Therapist’s Reflection on Cultivating Resources

In a contemplative writing, Psychologist Noel Haarburger  invites us to "cultivate resources"  to intentionally turn our attention to the small and sustaining experiences that offer a sense of safety, connection, and vitality. As an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) therapist, this aligns deeply with our commitment to psychological flexibility and to helping individuals live more meaningful lives, even in the presence of pain.

From Negativity Bias to Resource Awareness

Humans are biologically wired with a negativity bias, a tendency to fixate on what’s wrong, unsafe, or unresolved. In evolutionary terms, this made sense. Our ancestors’ survival depended on scanning for danger, not pausing to enjoy a flower. But today, this bias can trap us in cycles of worry, rumination, and self-criticism. In ACT, we see this as fusion with difficult thoughts: becoming entangled in our inner commentary about what's broken in us, in others, in the world.

Haarburger points out how this sustained focus on what isn’t working activates stress physiology, sympathetic overdrive or dorsal vagal collapse. From an ACT perspective, we call this a narrowing of behavioral flexibility. We begin to operate on autopilot, avoiding discomfort at all costs, and missing opportunities to engage with life in a values-based way.

Defusion Through the Senses

One way to practice defusion, unhooking from unhelpful thoughts, is to redirect our attention to the present moment. Haarburger offers a gentle and effective invitation: to notice the small things that bring comfort, safety, or pleasure, a warm bed, the pause after an out-breath, the feeling of sunlight on the skin. These are not indulgences; they are anchors to presence and pathways to the ventral vagal state, where connection and regulation reside.

In ACT, we might call this a mindful shift in attention, choosing to bring awareness to the parts of life that support us. Not as a way to deny suffering, but as a way to resource ourselves in the midst of it.

Values, Connection, and the Art of Remembering

ACT encourages us to live in accordance with our values, those chosen qualities of being and doing that give our lives direction. Haarburger’s suggestion to reflect on the people, places, animals, and activities that nourish us is also a way to reconnect with these values. Who and what supports you in being the person you want to be? What do you care about deeply?

The exercise he proposes, to bring one supportive experience to mind and recall it vividly through the senses, is an embodied values practice. It not only strengthens our connection to what matters, but also helps regulate the nervous system and ground us in the now.

Safety as a State of Being, Not a Condition

Importantly, Haarburger reminds us that states of safety and connection are not just circumstantial; they can be cultivated. The body learns through repeated experience. When we pause, breathe, feel the sun or remember a loved one’s gaze, we create micro-moments of calm and connection. These moments build resilience, a central aim in ACT, where the goal is not symptom elimination, but expanded capacity to be with life as it is.

A Final Reflection

As an ACT therapist, I often hear clients say, “I’ll feel better when things change.” But what if we don’t wait? What if we gently turn toward the small joys that are already here? What if we practice noticing what nurtures, not to avoid pain, but to strengthen our ability to hold it?

Noel Haarburger’s words remind us that cultivating resources isn’t an escape from suffering, it’s an act of commitment to life. A way of saying: “Yes, this is hard and still, I choose to be here, open, connected, and alive.”

Source: https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/blog/10-principles-for-conscious-change